It's Going Around

With three kids, it is not unheard of to find us at the doctor's office.  I will say, however, that my kids need to either being holding a lung in their hand or bleeding profusely from the eyes before we go.  (Maybe I exaggerate a wee bit)  

I abhor a visit to the doctor.  I am a victim of white coat syndrome no matter whom the patient may be.  And what does not help my anxiety are three little words:  It's going around.

"It's going around," the nurse chirps in her high sing-song voice.  The pitch of her voice is from her joy in actually announcing, "We have a big freakin' reason to test you now!"  

And test they will.  We've had strep throat cultures performed with no sore throat, no fever, no aches, no rash, no redness.  We've succumbed to mono tests with no more than a  .  The point is to test and test frequently to drive up the bill.  And bonus!  We pay cash!  Straight cash money right at the front door.  We're dream patients.

Except that we're not.  The last time I took my six year old in, it was for a quick listen to his chest.  Make sure I was right that it was all just leftover guck from his cold a few weeks ago and not becoming bronchial.  

"Oh, we'll need to do a flu test!  It's going around!"  

OKAY STOP.  I cower in the corner and stand my ground (white coat syndrome, remember?)  "Does he really need a test?"  

She glowers at me.  The nurse glowers!  But I'm sick of this.  So I climb under the exam table, peek out and add, "Unless the test will change the course of treatment, we'd like to skip it."

SCORE!!

And his chest was fine, by the way.  We have victory, folks!  Victory.

(Not counting the next time my husband took our older son and he was basically given a CAT scan for a runny nose.  But we won't speak of that.)